Girl is having a rough life (starting sequence of her waking up and not wanting to get up, dead end job, revealing dress, party, sloshy drunk, leaving with a guy and walk of shame) and grows up with a friend who becomes a therapist and has been offering since college to help her find some healing practices. Girl has been losing herself in boys and social gatherings with alcohol. She won’t face herself. Therapist friend gets cancer and tells her I might die and you won’t have taken me up on the help I’ve been dying to give you (no pun intended). What’s it going to take for you to take hold of your life and free yourself? She takes therapist up on it and the therapist writes up cardinal rules.
1. No boys (SEX!)
2. No booze
3. Find what you love that doesn’t involve hiding from your self/past
4. Try new things. Don’t go to the same restaurant twice
5. Buy something you don’t think you could pull off and wear it
6. No boys (but seriously, try dating yourself!)
7. Trust yourself
8. Tell the voice in your head to shut up
8.2 Journal, journal, journal
8.5 Listen to music that brings up a lot of emotion, they’re stuck, let them out finally
9. Notice the patterns
10. If it feels icky, it’s probably your trauma
10.5 Everything shows you something you need to see, every good and bad thing is a sign you’re in the right direction, or a symptom of something you need to change
11. Call me after a breakdown. (Hopefully this means I’ll hear from you often!)
12. Remember somebody loves you.
13. What is meant to happen will be if you’re a moving towards being free. Life finds a way.
She resists the rules, especially the no boy one but finally agrees. She ventures off to start her quest and runs into some hiccups pretty quickly. She gets better at it and as time goes on she becomes more dedicated to it. She starts to see her patterns, how she uses men for sex or rather let’s them use her to cover up pain. Parties without alcohol shows her how lame some of the people she hangs out with are and starts to distance herself. She starts to take herself to movies, goes to meet new people, tries new foods, does her hair different, starts to write poetry again, begins looking at the world a different way. (All throughout, she sees the guy randomly, like they both go to use the coffee creamer at the same time and he drops his book showing he’s studying something, or he’s with a stodgy, Harvard grad type girl, kind of emotionless, but neither of them seem to be on the same wavelength showing that we can see good guys or girls, but neither of us will SEE them until we are a match).
One day after a decent amount of healing has taken place she sits in a diner next to a guy where there is no other room and orders a drink and sandwhich. She does her best to stay off Instagram and her phone and cracks open a new book as she waits. Or she’s watching the tv and makes a comment and he notices what she’s doing. He’s eating a sandwich and makes a comment to her. She notices him for the first time. Someone steady, possibly out of her league, but she’s determined to stretch herself because she’s meeting new people. She puts a little charm on but does her best to be authentic. He’s intrigued by her and asks her name. They exchange names and continue talking. They’ve been talking for an hour when she says she should go. He asks her if she’d like to get a drink sometime, she says she’s on a no dating kick. Discovering herself. He says huh. Ive been thinking of discovering more of myself too. How was she planning on discovering herself tonight? A solo date to the new art exhibit/ movie whatever. He says, oh I was planning to see that. Would it be a date if I happened to be discovering myself alongside you? She smirks. I guess not. They end up spending the rest of the night discovering each other, and laughing, learning about themselves in the process. He tells her he has a copy of something she’s been meaning to read, asks if she wants to borrow it. She says yes. They go to his apartment. He says he’d invite her in but respects her wishes, runs inside to get it. She realizes she has to pee, and is also a little curious so she knocks on the door and opens it as she says can she use the bathroom. She stops mid word as she sees his beautiful apartment and marvels at him. They bond over something in his apartment. They end up talking about it and laughing. Somehow they end up sleeping together and the sex is orgasmic and soulful. So connected that neither feels like they’ve had it like that before. They are exhausted and she falls asleep on top of him. The next morning he wakes up before her and sees her. He realizes he wants to date her because he’s never experienced someone like her before. As she not give her his number he writes it down all over his apartment. He tells her they’re just in case she’d like to remember it since she wouldn’t take his number before. She doesn’t write it down but she sees it enough times she sort of remembers.
She tells her friend that she did a bad thing and slept with the guy. Therapist asks her how she feels about it. She shares she felt her heart was open during sex, something she’d never experienced before, and that she really wants to see the guy again but really wants to continue on this journey and knows she isnt ready to date. The therapist respects her decision.
Therapist shares that she believes people on the same wavelength meet each other. So if we’re in a certain place we will often find other in that place. If we are moving up and growing we will often find people on that same trajectory.
She keeps working on herself. Gets kind of depressed. Drinks a night or two and almost screws a guy until she realizes it’s not what she wants and calls her therapist friend.
She continues on her journey, more diligently. He continues on his but tries to go to the same place they met to be there to meet her again. He tries to run into her. We see her seeing him but she doesn’t go into the diner.
Goes to see therapist friend who is not doing so well. She says, Seeing you start to live brings me new life. Besides, if I die, then I’ll die knowing you finally live.
She goes to Europe. Discovers the things she loves. Journals more and wishes she was with him, becomes more determined to find out who she is and keeps working. Working to fall in love with herself.
After almost a year we see him finally give up on her and starts dating going on dates again
Her therapist friend gets better and she decides to go last minute to an event that they invite her too. She ends up meeting the guy again randomly by bumping into him. He’s shocked and almost unsure what to do, both of their energy looks brighter and happier. They have a mildly awkward exchange as she tries to rekindle (she might share that she’s there with friends and is back on the dating scene). She asks if he’s there with some one. He tells her he’s there with a date. She looks mildly crestfallen but maintains composure. He looks like he’s slightly entranced but wants to pull away. He says I’m sorry I have to do something and asks if she can excuse him and leaves quickly. We see her left there. She looks a little stunned but steady. She looks confused and hurt but we see her make a decision about herself that is positive through her composure and contingency and the resolution in her face with a slight smile. She goes to turn away from the empty space he left and suddenly he grabs her hand. He says her name. He has a sharpie. He asks, May I? She laughs. He writes his number down. Says do you don’t forget. I’m on a blind date, but I’d rather spend my next date with you. I can’t let you go again. I’ll be respectful to my date.. but please, call me.
